Lovingly

You know that feeling when you see someone, your mind goes blank and the only thought in your mind is being with that person? There is nothing else you’d rather have at that moment, you feel like you can go hungry for days and water is not enough to quench your thirst. The only singular thing that will save you is being with that person.

When I see her, there is this joy in me that I cannot compare it to because I have honestly never felt this way before. When she smiles or laughs, the only thing I see is her face. It has me hooked, I can watch her smile and laugh for hours.

When she cries, I weep deep inside but never show it. I want to comfort her and destroy every living thing that will upset her being. I want to bring down gods wrath on the person that hurt her because if you can hurt a soul like hers, you don’t deserve to breathe.

When she walks by, her essence captures me and doesn’t let go. Her sweet smell embodies all that is good in this World and I just want to hold her until it is our time to leave this World behind. I want to hold her hand and rub my fingers through her hair and feel what it is like to have her lips against mine and feel our souls connect.

But I cannot tell these things to her, I have been keeping this inside me for over two years, but I know the moment I tell her what my heart desires it will not be reciprocated and that will utterly destroy me. It is something I cannot risk, I would rather have her in my life than not at all.

The mere thought of her not smiling at me has got me in puddles of tears.

Maybe one day I will stop thinking about her this way, I don’t know how long. But I cannot tell her these feelings of mine and it kills me every day that she doesn’t know how I feel, my gut wrenches every time I am reminded of this fact.

Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

 

 

~Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space~

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