I have learned over the course of my 20 years of being alive that being heard and seen is truly a boon. Maybe that’s why it rips my heart apart when all I feel like is a person being used to gain something else. I long to make connections that will last a lifetime, which is why I throw myself completely into new connections I make and go over and beyond to keep in touch with people from my past.
I have enough self-serving bias to know what kind of person or friend I am. I am a 2 a.m. kind of friend. I will literally put my friends, and select members of my family, ahead of my own self. I don’t look at whether or not it inconveniences me in any way to help them, I just do it.
I understand that I am an easy person to take advantage of because I am also the kind of person to not say no. In my head I’ll be thinking that maybe I am being asked too much of, but that is nothing more than a fleeting thought. But I do it anyway because I don’t think that everyone I come across is capable of that kind of evil.
If you ask something of me and if it is in power to make it happen, I will move heaven and earth to get it done. I won’t even look at personal implications like if I have class in the morning, or if I have my own work to complete. The same people who ask of me the impossible can also hurt me deeply, but if they ask for help again I am the first one to say yes.
I am not divulging this to gain sympathy or to try and show-off, I know some people would have read halfway and have these thoughts. I am saying this because there are more of me out there. More people who will give themselves up for you as a sacrifice if they could. People who would step in front of a a bullet for you if you asked them, without hesitation.
Cherish the people like me because we, like astatine, are exceedingly rare to find. If you know someone like this in your life, make sure you make them feel valued. Don’t pile on the troubles they might be having by brushing them them off as an after-thought. We too, deserve to be heard and seen. Don’t let people like me rot away alone while you’re off having an adventure and making memories, karma can be a real pain in the ass when it wants to.
We deserve to be seen too.
“You never, truly, know the value of someone until they’re gone.”