I am done waiting for things to be okay, through my own faults we find ourselves in this circumstance, not knowing how to move forward.

I have said everything I need to say, the decision is now yours. Just like Robert Frost, you have two paths before you.

You can take the normal path that everybody takes, or be brave like I know you are and take the road less travelled by, be bold and believe in yourself because I do.

You are so much more than you portray yourself to be, fall down to the earth like leaves during autumn and realize that you can become whatever you want in this life, tomorrow isn’t promised.

Stop waiting around because no else will, not even Vienna.


~Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary~

Sands of Time

I stare at clock in my room, going tick tock…tick tock

Each millisecond without you in my life is like spending eternity with Hades

Tick tock…tick tock

I am alone with my thoughts and it only grows darker with time

I long for one more conversation, one more glimpse into your soul which is so pure,

I long to see you once more, but I know that is an impossibility I have to live with.

tick tock…tick tock

I long to turn back time and remedy these faults of mine, alas I am left on this Earth without such power.

I will search for you in another life, where things might be different,

where circumstances don’t define what happens to us.

Tick tock…tick tock,

I see time stops for no one, not even god.

~I wish I could turn back time, but I can’t. I made a stupid decision because I thought I was invincible, and I’ll pay for it the rest of my life.~


What are we? we are but a speck smaller than a sand grain in this Universe and yet we have the audacity to be so ignorant.

Our life time is like half a second in the eyes of the celestials, and yet we act like we are so blissfully arrogant.

What are we but molecules joined together? We can be torn apart like a simple science experiment, and yet we look down on people less fortunate.

Remember what you are, you will eventually be absent from this world and nothing will remain of you but a legacy you leave behind.

A legacy is like planting seeds in a garden you never get to see, a song left unfinished, so make sure you have competent people looking after it.

We are just a breath in the eyes of the celestials, do not think we cannot be defeated. We are mortal and one day death will come with our name leaving his lips.

Leave the arrogance behind.

~The men and women, who desire to obtain seats in the celestial kingdom, will find that they must battle every day~ 


I sometimes look up at the stars, wondering if you’re looking at them too. I look up and see millions of years of history.

I try to find all the constellations like we used to do back in the day. I remember how you would love to find Orion because it was the easiest to find. I would always try to find Virgo because thats my zodiac.

We would hold hands and just stare up at the night sky and play ABBA in the background, telling each other stories of how we would always be there for each other. Even though its been exactly seven years since you left, I still remember you so clearly. 

Your iconic laugh and your dorky hair-styles. You’ve missed a lot, like the entirety of Drake’s career and most importantly my high school graduation.

But I know you’ve been watching me from wherever you are, wishing me all the luck and success. 

I also colour both my pinky fingers in your favourite nail polish colour to always remember you, you may not be alive and here and you will always be in my heart.

I miss you every single day, I miss your advice and I really miss just telling you things.

Your parents are doing much better, we still catch up when we can. It’s still hard when they see me because they’re reminded of you and how we were practically inseparable.

I will always love you and have a special place for you in my heart that no one can replace. I know you’re much better up there.

Don’t worry about me, I’ll find my own way and come meet you in like 80 years and we can catch up.

~A friend who dies, it’s something of you who die~

Watch me

One day you will know my name, everyone will. I’ll show you, I’ll show it to all of you…my name will be in every major publication one day.

I’ll show all of you, I will make you woe the day you doubted me or never believed in what I was trying to do. I will write best-sellers one day, I will win multiple Pulitzers and pea-bodies and no one will stand in my way.

The truth will always find it’s way out and I will be the facilitator to speed up the process, I will prove to be the catalyst that this world deserves. 

Consider this a premonition of sorts.

Watch out for me, I will be at the top no matter what it takes and however long it takes.

I’m coming.

~Winning isn’t everything, its the only thing~

Stay Alive

I’m still at the bar, it’s almost midnight but I show no signs of leaving. I twirl my old fashioned and sit alone with my thoughts, those seem to be the only thing I can control anymore. I look around and see a few people and wonder if they too know my troubles. 

“Barkeep, another… please.” Almost begging him to relive this weight on my heart.

I am drowning and I can’t swim back up for air. It’s like someone threw me into the Hudson with a rock tied to my feet. I try to grab onto the water molecules but they keep slipping through my fingers, I can’t save myself.

I stare at the phone, hoping that I don’t get the call

Hoping that the one good decision I made does not get taken away from me.

I am interrupted by the guitar strum ringtone of my iPhone. I pick up but don’t speak, all I hear is my sister on the other side telling me she’s gone.

She’s gone and she isn’t coming back. I don’t react, I keep my phone down and ask for another drink. I relieve our good times and, for a second, a smile comes across my face. Then I remember these are all that’s left of her, mere memories.

I lay my head on the bar, staring through the glass that holds the antidote to life. I close my eyes, hoping that I never wake up and face my worst fear.

~Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.~


The one feeling that I always keep with me is hope. It is such a beautiful feeling, it can give you so much strength and it has the power to build you up even from the depths of Tartarus. 

But you can only grow an appreciation for hope after you’ve experienced its much less appealing Paramore: hopelessness. While hope can bring you back from Tartarus, hopelessness can put you right back in it and make sure you never emerge to see the light ever again.

Having experienced both of these emotions, I have to say feeling hopeful is a much better situation to find yourself in as opposed to the alternative. 

My worst case of hopelessness actually came while in high school. I wasn’t exactly a bright student, I was happy with average scores and elated when I get a 65 or 70. Now, having a mindset in an Indian school system can be harrowing.

Till about my senior year (12th grade) I was always brushed aside as not going to make it to a good University due to my poor grades, so much so that I had also given up really on making it so I had given up. I made up in my mind that any lowly University back in my home country of India would suit me best because there was NO way I was going to make it abroad. 

This all happened around the time the batch above me graduated and the few friends I had in the graduating batch all left and went on to American or the UK. The stories I heard from them sounded so fun and amazing and University sounded exactly like how it is in the movies.

Then I thought to myself, I deserve to experience those things. I deserve to go somewhere abroad and live alone and do all the things I heard form my friends.

Thats the moment my hopelessness slowly turned to hope. The first obstacle I had was to talk to my parents because we were prepping to go to India which doesn’t cost a whole lot. We talked it though and decided I’d get a student loan to facilitate this dream of mine.

Their part was done, all I needed from my folks were the money. Getting into a University abroad was my job and there was no way in hell I was going to back down form this.

I started reading up and how the University system works in American and the UK and figured out what I needed from my teachers, who also by the way had no hope in me that I would make it and basically laughed it off.

Same with most of my friends, they made fun of me for merely TRYING to study in America. I used all negativity to further fuel my drive and worked tirelessly for a whole year. I missed out on parties, missed out on events, missed celebrating my 17th birthday, missed so much, just so I could make it.

Fast forward to January I sent in my first college application. In the coming weeks I sent more and more, I sent it to a total of 16 Universities in America (I ruled out the UK as a possibility).

Fast forward again to a couple months after, I received my first acceptance letter.

The euphoria I felt cannot and will not be matched.

In the next two weeks I received letters from everywhere I applied and I got accepted into the 14of the 16 Universities I applied to. 14. 

I had an 87% success rate. The two Universities that denied me? Northwestern and Columbia, which I applied to for fun, just to try my luck.

I will not reveal the University I am studying at to protect my identity. But it is a good school and I am having the time of my life. 

I didn’t tell my teachers I got into University in America, so when I went back for winter break I went to visit my old high school. 

You should have seen the dumbstruck look on their faces, its like I asked them to donate a kidney. 

Same with most of my friends, there wasn’t any laughing going on when I broke the news. 

So you see, hope can be a wonderful thing. If you have a sense of hope, you can accomplish anything you want and no one can tell you otherwise. You can rise from Tartarus and become someone of envy, so don’t be afraid to feel a little hope once in a while.

~Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness~ 


Imagine driving at full speed and never being able to slow down. You don’t know any other kind of speed, just fast and faster. You never get tired either, you just keep on going until the grim reaper comes knocking at your door.

This is what my life has been like for 18 straight years. And it’s weird because I am very self-aware so I know that it’s going fast, but whenever I try to slow down, I feel sick and anxiety creeps up on me.

If I am not going a 100 miles an hour, I can’t breathe. I have to keep moving faster and faster just to be able to get through the day.

I envy people who can sit back and relax. Life is this magnificent drive and the view is spectacular, but you can only enjoy the view if you stop or slow down once a while.

But it’s like I’m driving a Ferrari and I can’t seem to enjoy the car, nor can I enjoy the view.

If I try to stop or slow down my engine starts revving automatically. Smoke starts coming from the hood and I speed up so that I don’t burn up and explode.

Maybe it’s time I changed cars, maybe it’s time I downgrade from a Ferrari to a Cadillac so I can just cruise down the road at the speed I want to so I can take in the view.

If you know anyone who wants a cheap Ferrari, tell them to message me. I’m giving mine away so I can finally sit back and relax.

~ There is more to life than increasing its speed~



I walk into a hallway and all I see is darkness. There is absolutely no hint of light, just darkness, like entering an empty cave with no flash light. Then, all of a sudden, I see a glimmer of something white, almost silhouette in nature. I follow it but the distance remains the same.

I run towards it but it doesn’t seem to be getting closer, it stays in the same place. I don’t know if the light is moving away or if I am running in place. The darkness makes it harder to figure out directions.

I slump to the floor, covered in perspiration due to all the running. I will never reach the light, it something that cannot be gotten. I give up and lay on whatever surface I am on, and try to close my eyes to get some rest.

I am jolted awake by a movement of the ground, I look around and it is still pitch black, so dark I cannot even see my own hand in front of me.

The ground shakes even more violently, it is like the surface I am on is moving and it is well beyond my control. I try moving forward, towards the light again, and this time the light starts getting closer.

I make a run for it once again, I judge the distance to be approximately 2km. I sprint like my life depends on it, each step more agonizing that the last.

But I cannot let it go yet, I am so close I can almost feel the warmth of the light. I inch closer and closer, running at full speed. My legs start to grow tired and cramps begin to take form.

Suddenly I feel my right leg slowly detach, like someone cut it off and it is dangling on by a single thread of flesh. But the light is so close, I cannot give up now. I tear off the leg and continue forward while drowning myself in the tears of agony.

I am now ten steps away from the light, I can almost physically touch the light source. As I am about to start the ten step journey, my left leg comes away, and I slump onto the floor again, this time with no feet to help me back up.

I give out a shrill scream, but no one can hear me in this dark void.

I use my arms to drag myself forward to the light. I am now right below the light source, I reach forward to grab it but I am not able to reach due to my now reduced height.

I go for it again, this time with more ferocity, I am able to slightly graze the object with my finger nails. I tried to go for it one last time, as I go to grab the object, the ground below me gives way and I fall. I keep falling, with no end in sight I just close my eyes and accept this as my end.

All of a sudden I am shaken awake.

I lie in my bed, the sheets damp from my sweat. I look around to observe my surroundings, it was filled with normal hospital gear. I look to the side to see my family and friends by my side, I look over to the calendar to see this is day 56 of my coma, I guess I’ll be here for a little while longer.

~ Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity~


You know that feeling when you see someone, your mind goes blank and the only thought in your mind is being with that person? There is nothing else you’d rather have at that moment, you feel like you can go hungry for days and water is not enough to quench your thirst. The only singular thing that will save you is being with that person.

When I see her, there is this joy in me that I cannot compare it to because I have honestly never felt this way before. When she smiles or laughs, the only thing I see is her face. It has me hooked, I can watch her smile and laugh for hours.

When she cries, I weep deep inside but never show it. I want to comfort her and destroy every living thing that will upset her being. I want to bring down gods wrath on the person that hurt her because if you can hurt a soul like hers, you don’t deserve to breathe.

When she walks by, her essence captures me and doesn’t let go. Her sweet smell embodies all that is good in this World and I just want to hold her until it is our time to leave this World behind. I want to hold her hand and rub my fingers through her hair and feel what it is like to have her lips against mine and feel our souls connect.

But I cannot tell these things to her, I have been keeping this inside me for over two years, but I know the moment I tell her what my heart desires it will not be reciprocated and that will utterly destroy me. It is something I cannot risk, I would rather have her in my life than not at all.

The mere thought of her not smiling at me has got me in puddles of tears.

Maybe one day I will stop thinking about her this way, I don’t know how long. But I cannot tell her these feelings of mine and it kills me every day that she doesn’t know how I feel, my gut wrenches every time I am reminded of this fact.

Is this what love is supposed to feel like?



~Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space~